So- I have been in Australia for just over eight months now and the time to leave is looming- I have to be out of the country by the 18th August.
The thing is, I don't think I'm ready to leave yet and I am torn as to what to do about it. I have a couple of options- none of which I really like. The first one is that I go back to my old company an get sponsored, sponsorships are meant to last for four years which kind of freaks me out because then the time I will get back to England I will be 28. On the other hand if I work here for like 2 years then I think I can apply for Permanent Residency which would be better.
The other option is that I wait out my current job for a while and hope and pray that sponsorship comes along but in all honesty I think the likelyhood there is pretty low.
I guess then its down to the reasons why I want to stay here, well to be honest theres a couple of reasons but none of them are particularly stable. So in no particular order;
1- I've met an Australian guy- I have been seeing him for the past 7 months and we kind of just date- we go out for dinner alot but were not in a 'relationship' because well basically those words freak him out. He's a very complex creature but I have fallen head over heels and I can't stand the thought of leaving him.
2- Overall I like my life here- Sydney is like a second home and I feel safe and comfortable- I have a great group of friends and I meet new people everyday. The downside to that I guess I don't know how long they will be around for and if I take my old job back I will have to move into an apartment and I wont be meeting new people everyday...hmm.
3- Im trying to make this more about me by going out and having more of a life outside work infact im looking to start Roller Derby classes and I go out with the girls a few times a week for manicures and a few beers (or cocktails if were feeling posh).
I think in an ideal world I'd like to come home for a few weeks, so I can see my beautiful neices and my amazing family and friends (who by the way are totally kick ass and I know will support me either way I decide). And then I want to come back- what I hate is the fact that if I come back to Australia I cant change my mind- if everything goes wrong and in another 8 months I find myself in a flat, on my own because my friends have gone. My guy isnt interested in me (or things still continue at this snails pace) and i hate my job all I will want to do is fly back to the Court Farm Inn and have a big ol' bottle of wine with Marple.. and maybe some chips... with mayonnaise.
I think another thing Im scared about is that if I come home I wont have a job- if i manage to find one in devon I may hate it and then im left either living with the rents or on my own somewhere.. most of my friends arnt around anyway and im sat there wondering what could have been if only I had the bottle to stay in australia.
Ok so- writing this is helping I think- so if I go back to England I have to basically start all over again in terms of work and a social life- and I have that here already. Not many people like their job- and i can pay my way out if i massively hate it after 2 years and then i should be able to apply for residency or citizenship. Its like uni- i didnt go to uni for the degree because i wanted to go to drama school, I went for the life experience and i freaking loved it. Maybe thats what Im doing here- apart from instead of lectures I have work and instead of being poor i will be making decent money.
this is a horrible and freaking scary decision to make and im freaking out and have been unable to sleep until around 5am which is an issue. I need to make this decision very soon.
Will keep you updated I guess.
